


Together,forever

by Rushi_Rush



Category: GOT7
Genre: Depression, I cried while writing this, I love jingyeom, I suck at tags, Its good dont mind the summary pls, M/M, Sad Kim Yugyeom, Suicide, Way too much angst im sorry, angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-30
Updated: 2018-04-30
Packaged: 2019-04-30 04:46:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14489124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rushi_Rush/pseuds/Rushi_Rush
Summary: Jinyoung's life has been feeling empty ever since the day of March 9th and he doesn't know how long he can go on... or if he even wants to go on.





	Together,forever

**Author's Note:**

> Hello guys! Im new to this posting thing though I do tend to write alot. This is my first ever oneshot that i decided to post. 
> 
> Constructive criticism is appreciated!
> 
> Thanks for reading. 
> 
> Xoxo,   
> Rushi

" How would I know what's going to happen tomorrow?"

I woke up, feeling a sense of foreboding hover over me. I looked over to my side, watching the numbers   
12.00pm blinking on the digital clock. I blinked furiously, trying to get my eyes suited to the extreme   
amount of light filtering through the curtains. Half a day, gone. I got up from the bed in a robotic sense   
and walked over to the bathroom to get ready for the day. 

Walking downstairs, lethargy was raining down onto me. It was hard to even move one step forward but   
I pushed myself. Making a cup of strong black coffee to wake me up somehow, I stared off into the   
distance, my mind blank. The coffee maker let out a sound, informing me of the fact that it had done it's   
job of making coffee. Huh, even this guy has a job, I thought to myself. Looked like I was the only one   
without a purpose or aim in life. 

"My visions and dreams are fading away." 

There was a time when I had hopes and aims too. But he..... he had to come and take them away from   
me. There was a time when I too was innocent, when I looked forward to days but it was all gone now. I   
had nothing left. He. Yugyeom. He had ruined my life. He had no right to do this. Why did I ever give him   
so much power over me? Did he never think about me like I did about him? 

The day of March 9th was ingrained into my mind no matter how much I had tried to erase it. The   
memories of that day clung to my mind until I was screaming, crying, breaking. 

It was the day when Yugyeom committed suicide.   
When he decided this life wasn't worth living in. When he decided I meant nothing to him. He left this   
world and took with him, everything I ever was.   
I was the one who found him, in his dorm room, with arms slit open and blood flowing down from them   
and pooling on the ground. When I saw him there, eyes open, staring into nothing, the fact that he was   
dead struck me. I didn't even realize I was screaming or crying until someone from next door peeked in   
to see what was causing so much noise. The girl let out a little shriek seeing Gyeomie on the ground and   
asked me something. But I was too far gone. 

Time had stopped for me. Paramedics rushed around me but I couldn't do anything. I could only stand   
there, watching as they hauled the love of my life into a plastic bag, zipping it closed. My brain was   
screaming at me to stop them but I was helpless. One of them finally shook me enough to bring me back   
to my senses. They asked me if I knew him. What a stupid question, I thought. Everyone knew we were   
together, everyone knew we were in love. I nodded my head yes and they put me into the ambulance   
downstairs next to Yugyeom's body. I had walked past all the stares of our classmates with my head   
down. This was unbelievable. 

The forever happy Yugyeom was, in reality, not happy at all. And I didn't even know. He didn't tell me   
anything. How could I have been so clueless? How could I have not known? It was all I could think about   
until we reached the hospital. I was asked standard information about him and they instructed me to call   
his parents.

I didn't know what to tell them, so without saying much, I begged them to come to Seoul National   
Hospital. As soon as I asked them that, they hung up on me. I slumped into a chair in the room,   
emotionless. Someone came up to me, it was a nurse. She asked who Yugyeom was to me and all I could   
say was "the love of my life". When she heard that, she looked at me with pity and I just turned my head   
back down. I was tired. 

It didn't take long for Mr. and Mrs. Kim to arrive. They entered the hospital in a rush and headed straight   
to the receptionist, badgering her with questions about Yugyeom. She asked them their names and then   
revealed to them how her son had committed. The look on their face will forever be etched into my   
memories. I watched their faces fall, the tears streaming down. The receptionist was kind enough to   
point them towards me. 

That was when they noticed me sitting on one of the plastic chairs, shoulders hunched forward and they   
did little but move towards me slowly. They sat beside me and asked me a simple question of "Why?"   
and thats all it took for me to breakdown. I had never cried so hard, ever. I kept repeating "I don't know".   
I couldn't believe what had happened. 

"With an anxious heart, I’m standing in front of the next choice."

I was sitting on one of the benches on campus, life going on around me. There was little I could do to   
stop the pain that accompanied the thoughts of Yugyeom. My train of thought was stopped by   
someone's hand on my shoulder. I looked up to see Younjae, Yugyeom`s roommate. He handed me an   
envelope quietly and it didn't take me long to realize what it was or who it was from. I told him thank   
you and he walked off, looking as if all the light was drained from him. 

I looked at the letter and saw my name on it, written in that familiar writing that brought back all the   
heartache. I decided to take it to my room. No place was happy for me anymore. I walked past   
everything, remembering Yugyeom and I's memories. I pushed them out to the best of my abilities, they   
hurt too much. 

Upon reaching my room, I sat down on my bed. The same bed me and Yugyeom first said "I love you" on.   
With shaking hands, I peeled open the envelope to open the letter. Reading it, I could hear Yugyeom's   
voice repeating everything written, the tear splotches on the pages reminding me of the hurt he had   
gone through without telling anyone. Without telling me. He didn't want to be a burden. I couldn't help   
but be disappointed at the fact that he thought I would think he was a burden. Was I that bad of a   
boyfriend? 

With each word, my heart hurt more and the tears sliding down my cheeks burned. I failed. I failed in   
saving him and there was nothing that hurt more. I wouldn't be able to talk to him ever again. I would   
never look into those eyes filled with love. I would never hear his laugh again. I would never listen to his   
voice. I would never be able to hold him, to tell him I loved him. He was truly gone now. Nothing was   
bringing him back. Ever. I fell down onto my bed, my body curling itself into a fatal position, sobs   
wracking through my body. 

I was stuck with this pain forever. I would never get over Yugyeom. He was the one. I didn't want anyone but him.

"Between paths that I've never gone on before, how can I find my way?" 

I thought about it a lot. This life was now colourless, no desires, no dreams, no passions. What was I   
doing here? There was nothing left to motivate me to live. I barely made it out of my bed most days,   
skipping classes. 

This is how it felt to lose the one thing you loved the most. I was lost in a maze, forever circling the same   
paths. There was no out, no exit. Wherever I turned, there was only darkness. Maybe with Yugyeom by   
my side, I would have made it out. But with no light to guide, I was stuck. How would I ever get out? Did I   
even want to get out? 

If Yugyeom wasn't here, then what purpose did I serve? I was just a hollow body moving along, my soul   
had left the world the moment I walked into Yugyeom's apartment and found him dead. There was only   
one thing I knew I had to do. Just because I couldn't be with him here didn't mean I couldn't be him   
elsewhere. 

This was it. I hope Yugyeom and I could be together in our next life, and the one after that, and the one   
after that....... forever with him didn't sound bad at all.   
These were my last thoughts before my heart gave out and I was happy. I was going to be with Yugyeom.   
We would be together forever, unseparable. 

The next day, Jinyoung's mom found him dead in his apartment, his wrists cut scarily similar to   
Yugyeom's. Yugyeom's letter was left next to him. But the most shocking thing to her was the fact that   
Jinyoung had a smile on his face. He had gone to meet Yugyeom after all.

**Author's Note:**

> If you couldn't figure it out, there are lyrics in here taken from Tomorrow, Today by JJP. That song was what inspired me to write this one shot as is. Does not in any way mean that this was what the song implied but I managed to move the lyrics around to fit this.
> 
> These characters nor the song lyrics belong to me. I only chose them as inspiration. 
> 
> Thank you!


End file.
